By Shad Begum[1]
You are apologetic, defenceless and a weak creature. You are
not supposed to condemn, criticize or argue. Obedience is the hallmark of your
ideal character. You have no separate identity. You are known to others by the
identity of your men – your father, brothers, or husband. You want to please
all of them and struggle to meet their expectations.
Whether in the name of a self-defined religion or culture,
you are supposed to liquidate your rights. Islam enjoins equal opportunities
for men and women but we practice it partially in favour of men. Whether
education, property or employment rights, your preferences are defined by
others.
If you are assertive, argumentative and outspoken, then you
are a threat to the male-defined cultural norms. Your mobility is an issue. You
cannot visit a doctor or a market place for genuine needs without your men,
even if you have no men left in your household, and even when you are the sole
bread-earner for your children. You are a threat to the male-defined values of
honour.
You are not allowed to work outside home. Occasionally, you
may work but the choice of your career is pre-defined. You are harassed,
stigmatized and discouraged in work places. You have nothing to do with public
life. Men can decide for you better. You must trust even if it seems unjust.
You deserve sympathy when you feel hurt by others. You don’t
need understanding by others.
You can’t enforce your constitutional and legal rights. You
can’t visit a court to seek justice because justice is a male-business.
Your heart is filled with pain and anguish but you can’t
speak. You are not supposed to complain.
You are precious because you can produce children. The level
of your respect is determined by the sex of the children that you produce.
The dignity of your person is subordinate to that of your
men.
You are a woman born and raised in a society of macho men – a
society that romanticize physical aggression and male-dominancy. You are left
alone to take your sufferings to the Creator of the Universe. Your prayers will
be answered – for sure.
[1] Shad Begum is a human rights
activist from Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, Pakistan and a recipient of international
women of courage awards.
And how long are you supposed to put up with this level of inequity, injustice and deprivation?
ReplyDeleteIf we look at the history of early Islam, how life was before the Prophet, and what he introduced for gender equality, in legal affairs but also education and representation - then how could it have become so inverse in deeply religeous societies like FATA? Or is this a social-cultural thing? What are the answers to change these attitude, can you find these within Islam, and if you can is there any (man) with influence in the Islamic religeon in Pakistan who is ready to push for change?
Great blog!
Magnus